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Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Grammar Jokes -- Get Ready to Groan

 A friend just shared these grammar jokes with SALT, one of my writer's groups. They are real groaners but funny.


A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.

A dangling modifier walks into a bar. After finishing a drink, the
bartender asks it to leave.

A question mark walks into a bar?

A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to drink.

 The bar was walked into by the passive voice.

Three transitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They drink. They
 leave.

The past, the present and the future walk into a bar. It was tense.

A sentence fragment into a bar.

A hyperbole totally ripped into the bar and literally obliterated
everything!

A: Knock. Knock.
B: Who’s there?
A: To.
B: “To” who?
A: “To whom,” you idiot.

A linguistics professor was lecturing to his English class one day.
“In English,” he said, “a double negative forms a positive. In some
languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a
 negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive
can form a negative.”
....A voice from the back of the room piped up, “Yeah, right.”

Did you hear the one about the pregnant woman who went into labor
and began to yell, "Couldn't! Wouldn't! Shouldn't! Didn't! Can't!"?
She was having contractions.

2 comments:

  1. Oh, man, oh, man. I'd heard a couple of them before, but all together like this? Now I'll be giggling all day as I try to write.

    ReplyDelete
  2. LOL. Wish I was clever enough to come up with some.

    ReplyDelete