Yesterday was Valentine’s Day and if even though I think the day is no big deal, all the Face Book posts from friends and acquaintances said otherwise.
When I was first married, Valentine’s Day was a big deal to me. I still remember the time my husband forgot and came to me sheepishly holding his hands out and opening an imaginary card. He said something sappy, hoping I would forgive him. I did, but was really miffed. My oldest daughter, who was a witness, still laughs about it with me.
But as the years have passed both Jeff and I have come to recognize the day for what is really is. It’s commercial. It’s hyped so people will buy candy, cards, jewelry and dinner out. The pressure, for the most part, is on the man. Whoa to the guy who forgets.
So, this week I remembered Valentine’s Day but I had been very busy and a) didn’t really have time to buy a card and b) thought to myself, he probably won’t buy a card or gift and if he does it will be out of guilt and c) if I do buy him a gift, then he’s going to feel bad and will rush out and try to find something to make up for it.
Truly, that’s what I thought.
We’ve both been extremely busy. He’s got a new job that has kept in running. We haven’t been connecting much and I could tell the distance between us was growing.
He called me at work on Valentine’s Day to tell me he was sorry and he had forgotten what day it was. I figure he saw all the posts on FB and did one of those palm slaps against the forehead in a “I coulda’ had a V-8 moment.”
“No problem, I said. “I didn’t get you anything anyway. I’m fine.” He told me he would actually be home for supper. “Cool. Looking forward to having dinner with you,” I replied.
Then I got busy at work. I talked with the custodian and learned he had bought his wife a spa treatment. I talked to another guy who calls in regularly and found out he had bought his wife a card and dinner out. In both cases it sounded like they did it to stay out of trouble.
Around 2:45, I started thinking. What do we have for supper? Not much in the freezer. Maybe I should pick something up. On a whim I looked up a favorite restaurant, Bistro 127 in Hickory, to see if they had carry out. Cool. They did so I called in an order for two servings of steak frité. (It came with potatoes. Double cool.) I sent Jeff an email telling him I was bringing home dinner.
He was already there when I got home.
“When you told me you were bringing home steak, I took off work early,” he said.
I threw a red table cloth over a card table, lit some candles, and put the dinners on plates. He threw some salad on plates and poured the wine.
He turned his ever present phone off. Triple cool.
That night we had the best conversation ever as I talked about my art passion and new focus in entrepreneurship. He talked about his new job and how it was going. We talked and talked. The best conversation we’ve had in ages.
Then we watched a Netflix movie and cuddled on the couch. The movie was so-so. The company was awesome.
After that, we went to the bedroom. I’ll leave the rest up to your imagination.
After all these years, why is it a new revelation to me that the best romance happens when you make time for each other.
Teena Stewart is author of The Treasure Seeker: Finding Love and Value in the Arms of Your Loving Heavenly Father http://tinyurl.com/anf7wza
and Mothers & Daughters: Mending a Strained Relationship http://tinyurl.com/avnuuvx